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A Nameless Witch, by A. Lee Martinez
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A tale of vengeance, true love, and cannibalism
Being born undead can have its disadvantages, such as eternal youth and flawless beauty ---things most unsuitable for a witch. Hiding behind the guise of a grimy old crone, the witch is content living outside Fort Stalwart with her unlikely band of allies: a troll named Gwurm, an enchanted broom, and a demonic duck named Newt. She leads a simple life filled with spells, potions, and the occasional curse.
So when a White Knight arrives at Fort Stalwart, the witch knows her days of peace are at an end. The Knight is just days in front of a horde of ravenous goblings, and Fort Stalwart lies right in the horde's path. But the goblings are just the first wave of danger, and soon the witch and the Knight must combine forces on a perilous quest to stop a mad sorcerer from destroying the world.
Filled with menace, monsters, and magic, A Nameless Witch is a properly witchly read by the award-winning author of Gil's All Fright Diner and In the Company of Ogres.
- Sales Rank: #1044991 in Books
- Published on: 2007-05-01
- Released on: 2007-05-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .72" w x 5.50" l, .91 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 320 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Martinez's disappointing third comic fantasy stars a beautiful heroine who's cursed with immortality and an appetite for human flesh that complicates her love life. Rescued and mentored by an old witch nicknamed Ghastly Edna, the witch of the title comes into her own after being locked in the basement until she is 18 (on account of being freakishly "undead"). After Edna's demise, the Nameless Witch sets off to avenge her death, with some help from her familiar, Newt, who takes the form of a wisecracking killer duck, and a benevolent troll called Gwurm. They settle in at Fort Stalwart, where they're joined by the handsome White Knight and menaced by goblings sent by the sorcerer Soulless Gustav. The White Knight wins the witch's heart, but he can't rescue this quest spoof, which lacks the marvelous effervescence that buoyed Martinez's debut, Gil's All Fright Diner. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From Booklist
The nameless witch is the victim of a family curse that was supposed to make her hideous and undead. The undead part took, but she is otherwise quite lovely. A witch she calls Ghastly Edna buys her from her parents and trains her in all the witchy arts, including how to dress so that people see the hideous hag they expect a witch to be. When inhuman agents of a mysterious force attack Ghastly Edna, before she expires she tells the nameless witch she has two choices: live a long, peaceful life, or pursue revenge and possible doom, though happiness might instead be the outcome. Of course, the nameless witch chooses revenge. With her demonic duck familiar and a troll met en route, she travels to a town where she provides useful services until a gobling [sic] army attacks. She resumes her quest, with White Knight Wyst of the West added to her company. Thanks to a healthy dose of Martinez's signature humor (see his Alex Award winner, Gil's All Fright Diner, 2005), entertainingly witchy. Regina Schroeder
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Review
“Fans of Douglas Adams will happily sink their teeth into this combo platter of raunchy laughs and ectoplasmic ecstasy.” ―Publishers Weekly (starred review) on Gil's All Fright Diner
“[A] laugh-out-loud comic fantasy that should appeal to fans of Terry Brooks's Landover novels.” ―Library Journal on Gil's All Fright Diner
“Delightfully droll, this comic romp will be a crowd-pleaser.” ―Booklist on Gil's All Fright Diner
“Can a vampire find true love with a ghost? Can a teenage witch open the gates of Hell? Anything can happen in A. Lee Martinez's wacky debut.” ―Charlaine Harris, bestselling author of Dead to the World
“Martinez's follow-up to Gil's All Fright Diner is as joyfully fast paced and funny. In the Company of Ogres tweaks fantasy clichés most excellently.” ―Booklist
“Martinez's broad humor should appeal to fans of the late Douglas Adams and other contemporary authors of comic fantasy.” ―Library Journal on In the Company of Ogres
Most helpful customer reviews
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Easy, Amusing Read
By Burgundy Damsel
I hope people disregard the negative reviews about this book. It certainly isn't (and wasn't intended to be) an epic, but it is a creative and engaging read. The author's magical world is unique and well developed and the characters' interactions made me laugh out loud. I highly recommend this for those days when you just need something fun and easy.
15 of 19 people found the following review helpful.
Pleasant writing with no original plotting
By R. Kelly Wagner
As another reviewer said, consider it 3 and a half stars, but not up to 4. It's a very pleasantly written book, nice easy reading, but the plot is almost nonexistent - a series of warmed-over Terry Pratchett style cliches but without Terry Pratchett's dark and mordant thought. There's humor, but it's light. There are a couple of minor original touches, but not enough to say that the book isn't mostly cliches.
So. Our nameless witch. Her backstory is a bit different from most cliches; I wouldn't have minded hearing more about that, but instead, it's done with in a couple of pages, far too little to explain why we have the very firm-minded, talented character that we have. She becomes an apprentice to a witch, then inherits the witch's familiar, who is a very funny demon duck named Newt. (It's even fun writing that - "demon duck named Newt!") If your local newspaper has the comic strip "Pearls Before Swine" then you might be familiar with the little guard duck there, who is always wanting to machine-gun the neighbors; this is that duck, in a different setting. Next we have a troll, who is a very nice person, really, with a good sense of humor. And a broom named Penelope. And a prostitute with a heart of gold. And a White Knight.
What can I say? Good wins over evil. There's nothing wrong with that, but there's nothing really original about the way it's done, either. I liked it, it didn't take long to read, but it also didn't have anything in it that would make me want to keep it and re-read it, thinking I'd get more to think about. Worth reading once for the demon duck named Newt (I had to get that phrase in again) and for the clever fox, who is a copy of many other such forest animals, but also nicely done. Then donate it to your public library.
Family reading alert: there's a little bit of extremely discreet sex, almost unnoticeable; safe for any teenager. In fact, probably more enjoyable reading for a teenager who isn't already knowledgeable of all the fantasy cliches and stereotypes, than for the experienced fantasy reader.
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
I do not understand the bad reviews
By C. Brunner
I'm sorry but I do not understand the reviews about this book. I read the first two books this author wrote and was pleasantly surprised by how different the stories were. I almost didn't buy this book because of the reviews on this page. They were so wrong. I loved the story. I very much enjoyed the characters and their dialog. It was entertaining and original. This book was a nice diversion, and I read it on a Saturday afternoon when I needed to lose myself in a story. Very original. Loved the duck! Also I have read every Terry Pratchett book. I seriously do not see the comparison. At all! If anything this author is so different from any other. And believe me when I say I have read EVERYBODY!
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